In That Moment

Almost three weeks ago I faced the death of my husband. There had not been any signs that this could come so quickly. We were getting ready for bed. He had just walked into the bathroom to take his shower. I was lying across the bed playing Angry Birds awaiting my turn. Suddenly there was this loud rumbling noise. I thought he had slipped in the shower. As I ran to him, I realized I didn’t hear any water running. When I entered the bathroom, I saw my tall, beautiful husband lying against the shower door gasping for air and in a contorted position.

In that moment

I came face to face with the reality of losing him;

with loneliness;

 with an empty space that should have been occupied;

with losing my best friend;

with the pain of telling our children and feeling their pain;

with a change in living conditions;

with that question of “what do I do now?”

All in that moment.

I called 911 and did chest compression as best I could in the position he was in. The paramedics arrived and took over. Somewhere after they first assessed him and then moved him to a flat position, he died. As I watched them an amazing calm overcame me. I found myself praying “Lord, if it is his time, I don’t want him to suffer. If it isn’t, please heal him.” After three shocks to his heart, he began to breath again. They quickly moved him to a gurney and then out the door.

I will never forget that moment when it felt time stopped. I encountered myself, death and my faith all clashing into that single point of time. My new journey began in that moment.

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16 thoughts on “In That Moment

  1. Bless you! I’m so sorry for your loss.. Try to remember the happy years you’ve spent together, that God gave to the both of you before he took your husband. Feeling very sad for you and family right now.. Sending distant hugs your way.

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  2. I have been in that moment. Memorial Day, 2004. Many nights I would not sleep due to chronic pain & Lyme Disease. One this one night, however, I was grateful for the wakeful pain. My husband was asleep beside me, I was sitting up. He began to groan and his breathing was labored. I turned on the light to see him ashen and sweaty.
    I spoke to him telling him to stay calm and focused on breathing while I called 911. I requested a Cardiac Ambulance & the operator argued that the police would determine that. I repeated my request and this time she asked if I was a nurse and I replied I was. We all know that I am not a nurse for humans but a tech for animals.
    I was extremely calm. I had one son driving back to college who would call when he got there but I wouldn’t answer the phone my neighbor would as I had called her for the little boys.
    I made sure the house was secure, talked to my older son’s friend and then drove to the hospital. We, some how, arrived at the same time. They had to pull the rig over 3 times to bring my husband back.
    Thank God, we are still happily together and my pain has served a purpose besides mere suffering.
    I thank God for sparing my husband and Rev. Wiggins.

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