I Was Wrong!

About midnight I posted The Battle. I talked a little about the struggle I was having between my Faith and my Sight.This morning about 3:15 I realized I was not doing my assignment correctly. I was all wrong. What do you mean, Pat? Are you saying God can’t heal your husband? Are you saying that you don’t believe anymore? Are you saying it is too hard to have faith in this circumstance. Absolutely not! I was doing my homework from the wrong perspective.

At 3:15 am, I realized I was still focusing on what I saw. What I saw dictated my prayer, my attitude, my fatigue. I wondered why I no longer had peace like I did in the beginning of this journey. I couldn’t give up; Too stubborn for that and too many people watching my behavior and my words. I was tormented by thoughts of final plans and insurance policies. Would Deborah get here in time? How did this line up with “I am trusting God to heal him?” It didn’t. I really want to see through the eyes of faith. I wanted and still want God to reverse the situation because only He can do it. I want Him to be glorified. believers strengthened and people drawn.  I thought I was really standing on His word. I was doing some kind of hybrid. I saw, I believed what I saw was reality and then I tried to have the faith that God could change it if He wanted to.

I realized I was just like Job and the lesson I was to learn was his lesson. God wanted me to know who He is. My attention should have been on the abilities of God. It should have been on the character and power of God. What I saw did not matter.

Job 42:1-6 (God’s Word translation)
1  Then Job answered the LORD,
2  “I know that you can do everything and that your plans are unstoppable.
3  “{You said,} ‘Who is this that belittles my advice without having any knowledge {about it}?’ Yes, I have stated things I didn’t understand, things too mysterious for me to know.
4  “{You said,} ‘Listen now, and I will speak. I will ask you, and you will teach me.’
5  I had heard about you with my own ears, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
6  That is why I take back what I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show that I am sorry.”

Job 42:1-6 (New KJV)
1  Then Job answered the LORD and said:
2  “I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
3  You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4  Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’
5  “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You.
6  Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes.”

I submit myself, my  mind and sight to you Lord. Help me see You and Your plan. 

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3 thoughts on “I Was Wrong!

  1. Yeah, I am reminded of what my husband has told me when I bring my versions of your dilemma to his attention: ‘when we can’t understand God’s hand, understand God’s heart. In other words, that God is at his very essence, good…love…mercy
    God has revealed Himself to us as a parent. To the point of your prayers and your approach, is this not where the Holy Spirit steps in to translate, so to speak, our inward desires to God, so that we pray as we ought? Also, when other parents, or people, have no idea what a child is trying to say,(or even the child him/herself sometimes) the actual parent can figure it out. That’s what’s parents do. Know what their child is trying to say.
    The child, (we), will over and over, at the end of every test, every question,… find the God who knows us, and loves us, has our address….and ‘gets it’….even when we don’t.
    Thanks for bearing with me and MY thoughts!
    Still praying….

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    1. My dilemma is behaving like I believe my parent “got it” and is handling it. It is easy to say I have given it to the Lord and I will trust Him. It is quite another thing to stay out of His way and rest peacefully like a child in His presence.

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