If I Had Known …

Donald Lawrence said there was a King (Queen) in me.

I wish I had known.

I went to church every Sunday as a child.

I attended Sunday School.

I was a faithful youth usher, choir member

And everything else youth were involved in.

I had no choice.

Daddy made sure of that.

I celebrated your birth

I learned that you gave your life for me.

You loved me that much.

I learned that you’re powerful

After all, you rose from the dead.

I learned you were righteous and

Required my best behavior.

And I tried.

I learned how important you should be to me

BUT if I had known

Just how much you cared

About everyday, mundane things in my life.

I would have consulted you about my college and career choices,

who I dated, where I lived.

Heck, How I felt during those confusing teenage years.

Maybe my self perception would have been better.

What other’s thought would have had less influence.

Maybe I would have realized dark chocolate was beautiful.

I mattered to you during that painful transition from childhood to adulthood.

If I had known what your loving me really meant,

Maybe, just maybe I would have made better decisions.

Maybe, just maybe I would have lived like who YOU positioned me to be.

Maybe, just maybe I would have known there was a QUEEN in me.


Dark Chocolate!

Dark Chocolate,

Nappy Hair,

They pay big bucks to get what YOU got.

Yet you are made fun of even by your own

and Denied access to the best.

Why do we accept the “Paper bag” test?

Why do you have to prove yourself worthy more than the rest?

It is interesting that

The dark piece anchors the quilt design

The dark one draws the eye in a picture or a chorus line.

The rarest of gems are black or darkest in hue.

Consider the black diamond, black opal, chocolate diamond,

the deepest ruby and sapphire.

Oh, how precious and rare, just like you.

Even in food

The darker the color the richer and more beneficial

You know that green, red, yellow veggie or fruit.

Could it be that you are so maligned because

You are Intensely Richer.

You are More Beneficial.

You are Visually Overwhelming,

 Powerfully Stunning,

You are Stronger

You are More Precious, Priceless?

It is recorded that Dark Chocolate is good for anti-aging.

Could that be why black don’t crack?


You got it going on!


A Sickening Image

A couple of days ago on my way home I witnessed the aftermath of a hit and run. At first I wasn’t sure what I was seeing. The lower extremities of the injured party were smashed beyond recognition. I watched the struggle to survive.  I could almost feel the pain I saw on the face as the victim tried to drag itself out of the street. I wonder if the animal was asking, “Why aren’t my legs working?” I wanted to get out of my car and help but the traffic light changed. Suddenly cars were flying by and the tortured body was struck over and over again. It hurt me deep into my being. I remembered thinking how badly it must have hurt to know you could not avoid such a painful death. It was a rabbit. Something I have eaten before. I can’t eat it again. In that moment veganism became a real consideration.

As I remember it now it hurts and I wonder about the animals slaughtered to provide my food. Is this what it looks like in the slaughter houses? Will I continue to hurt when I go to the market? I ate fish tonight and did not give it a thought until I began writing this. Will my life long conditioning override the horror I witnessed? I don’t know. All I know is that was and is a sickening image to see in my mental photo album.

Black and Patriotic?

After I see more and more news about blacks being shot down by police, or hear stories about blacks receiving higher mortgage rates, the KKK planning rallies to keep the Confederate flag I become frustrated and feel lost. Recently, I saw a video about black students stomping the American flag. This new challenge is called the Eric Shepphard Challenge. During the video I hear the white news reporter say something along the lines of if you don’t like it you can leave. Which sounds very familiar to Donald Trump’s comment “if black lives don’t matter then go back to Africa”. It’s crazy we live in a country that hangs a flag that symbolizes hate, racism and slavery and yet question why would any black person hate “your” country. Hmmm. We’ll if someone was enslaved, let free but still after over hundred years they are killed, incarcerated and ridiculed for their…

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My Defiant Brain!

I haven’t posted in days because I have been overwhelmed with life again.I don’t know what is worse; Getting behind and playing catch up or trying to stay current. Needless to say I am in the catch up situation on all fronts. In the last few months I could only focus on my husband, his needs and the lessons learned in this process.

I have had so many thoughts that I wanted to share lately that my brain scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! when I tried to sort them out. I feel a short circuit do to circuit overload coming on.I hope a night or two of sleep will allow me to begin this mental sorting. In the mean time, I will just sort paperwork that needs to be done and filed.

AWWWWW! that’s painful too. Do you feel me?