Sometimes you just need to refocus. Being really scared can cause you to do that.
Carl awakened in pain from the neuropathy in his legs. Then I realized he was perspiring like a running water faucet and cold to the touch at the same time. This is usually an indication that his blood pressure has dropped too low. I put pillows under his legs to raise them. He asked for a wet wash cloth to wipe his face and neck. That was good. He was conscious and communicating. He wanted to be on his side, then his stomach and then his back all in a matter of minutes. Then he told me he was dizzy and nauseous and thought he might vomit. I went to get a container for that and he began to dry heave. I was SCARED. I asked him if I should call 911. He said he didn’t know and then I got a feeling that I should wait. I called out to God and reminded Him of the promise he gave me in Psalm 91. One of which was when I called out that He would answer. Carl began to settle down but still had pains in his leg and nausea. I continued to pray and then I felt God instructing me to read Mark 4. I began to read and wondered why He pointed me to the parable of the sower. I continued to read. Next came the account of the disciples being afraid that they would drown in the storm. After Jesus calmed the storm He said to them,
Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?
That was it. That is why I had to read Mark 4. Throughout this whole ordeal, our storm, I have been learning to put my trust in what God said and not the circumstances that I see. I guess I got so comfortable in where I was that I didn’t realize I was slipping back into trusting what I saw. So the Father had to SCARE me back to FAITH; Faith in Him and what He said He would do. I have been refocused. Focused on what God promised rather than what I see happening in the healing process.
By the way, there are good things happening. The doctor’s have removed a very toxic drug called Amioderone. The side affects can cause extremely life threatening damage. It is the major contributor to the neuropathy. Since its removal, Carl is getting stronger and is standing with very little assistance. I am optimistic that he may be trying to walk by next week if not sooner. He said he feels like he is coming out of the mental fog. All these positives are the reasons I was so scared this morning.
So I say to you don’t lose focus. Keep your eyes on the promise that God has given you no matter what else may be happening. God’s course correction is not fun. Don’t give Him cause to Scare you back to Faith.