I just can’t see My Leftovers

It is so easy to fall back into bad habits and worry. I have a mountainous list of things to do in a short period of time. “I just can’t see how” it will all get done. There is a financial component that “I just can’t see how” I will get it paid on time. The problem here is not how it will get done or the cost. The problem is “I just can’t see.” My answer to my real problem popped up in my bible study this morning.

Mark 8:18-21. My paraphrase

Y’shua (Jesus) said to his disciples, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees.” They thought he was talking about bread. They forgot to get some for the trip. Y’shua knowing this asked them, when he fed the 4000 and the 5000 what happened? He reminded them that not only did he supply the need but there was an abundance of leftovers. The unspoken questions, I believe, are why would I be warning you about the Pharisees’ bread. Even more so, why are you worrying about not bringing any. Don’t you yet know, I will supply the need?

That was the message to me. With all that I have done for you, especially in the last year and half, all the miracles you have experienced, all the needs met, why are you worried about all you have to get done and how much it will cost? Don’t you yet understand WHO your supplier is? I have supplied your need and you have had an abundance of leftovers. 

Do YOU need to be reminded of your leftovers? Are you worrying about things you know full well Y’shua has the authority to handle? STOP.

We have an abundance of leftovers.


Matthew 4 – Basics

Sometimes when you think you know a narrative you tend to over look some interesting and enlightening facts. I am trying to look at this text with fresh eyes to see what I am really being told.

Matthew 4:1-11 The Temptation

I never noticed or realized the first two temptations were accusations against the man Y’shua. “If you” was the accusation. The response was thrown back to the authority of God’s word.  The final temptation went straight to the original intent. Satan (Adverary) vs. God. Who will you worship? Y’shua dropped the mic. He said get out of my face It is written you only worship God and Him only shall you serve. Why would the Word of God bow down to God’s Adversary? Please!!

Matthew 4:14 Galilee of the Gentiles

Where is this? I always thought Galilee where the tribes of Jacob settled. We usually forget there were non-Jews there before they came and others moved in later. Looking at Strong’s it says it is a circle of Gentiles or circle of nations, non-Jews. He went to them and declared the authority of God is here. This was the light brought to them. This was the gospel He brought to them.

I also noticed

23 And Jesus went about all Galilee,

and preaching the gospel of the kingdom,teaching in their synagogues,

(the good news of the reign of God Matt 4:23 Youngs’ Literal Translation)

and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.

24 And his fame went throughout all Syria:

and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments,

and those which were possessed with devils,      (possessed or controlled by evil spirits, spiritually ill)

and those which were lunatick,                                  ( mentally ill)

and those that had the palsy;                                      (paralytic, physically ill)

and he healed them.

The text goes on to say that large multitudes followed Him from Galilee, Decapolis (ten-city region in Syria), Jerusalem, Judea and beyond Jordan. This is widespread awareness of Him. All of this seems to be in the first year of His ministry.

How did I miss so much?

When Seasons Change

When Seasons change

Sheds Was and Now

Exposes  nakedness


Only Thick mental skin

Protects from the hawkish, wintery pain

Longing for Then and When

Alone until

Spring springs

Clothed in

Sun fed breezes

Blowing healing to Mind, Body and Soul

A new Now

When seasons change.

Tradition or Truth?

When I was a kid I asked my Sunday School teacher why did Herod kill all the children two years old and younger? If Jesus was a newborn, why didn’t he just kill newborns. I don’t remember her answer but I it must not have made sense to my young mind. I was persistent enough for an answer I could understand that it got me expelled from my class for being disruptive. I was keeping her from teaching her planned lesson.

That question remained until I research it for my self. Here is what I understand to be the reason he killed children as old as 2 years old.

If we think of this logically, whether they were coming from the Orient or Africa it took time to get to Jerusalem traveling by camel in a caravan. We don’t know how long they were in Jerusalem but it is conceivable that they did not see Herod on immediate arrival. After traveling a great distance it is likely they wanted to make themselves presentable, freshen up as it were, before they even went to request an audience. Then Herod had to grant it. Next Herod had to call the priests and scribes to get the information to give the wise men. The priests and scribes were sent away so he could ask the wise men in secret when they first saw the star. Then the wise men had to travel from Jerusalem to Bethlehem. That journey was 4.4 miles which took less than a day by camel caravan. Now we can speculate that it only took a few days for all of this. We can also speculate that they saw the star sooner than the birth night. But here is the clincher. In verse 16, we learn clearly that Herod made his decision to slay males 2 years old and under based on information gathered from the wise men. If it was the same night he was born that they left Jerusalem, why kill 2 year old males? Why not newborns? I believe they were not there on the night of his birth. Others have stated the same. I asked them why continue to promote the idea that they were present if we can see they weren’t. Tradition was their answer.

Tradition versus Truth: which is more important?

Matthew 2

  1. Yehoshuwa (Jesus)  was born during the reign of Herod the Great   Matt 2:1
  2. The wise men or magi saw the star in the east. (Were they in the east or the star east of them?  Matt 2:1
  3. The wise men went to Jerusalem to Herod to get the location of the child. Matt 2:2  Why didn’t they follow the star to Bethlehem? Apparently the star was not visible to them the entire trip. It made sense to go to the capital as it were to find the king. Could they have thought the child was the heir to the throne from the present king? Possibly.
  4. Herod sent for his priests to determine where the child would be born.  Matt 2:4-6 Why didn’t he know? Hadn’t at least heard the prophecy regarding the Messiah?
  5. He asked the magi when the star appeared. This gave Herod the first clue to when the child was born. Matt 2:7
  6. He sent them to Bethlehem based on the prophecy and instructed them to return to him with the exact location.  Matt 2:8
  7. The star reappeared to guide them to Yehoshuwa’s location  Matt 2:9
  8. The wise men entered the house where the young child and his mother were. Matt 2:11  House not stable.
  9. The wise men did not return to Herod and this angered him He gave orders to kill every child in Bethlehem, 2 years old and under, based on the time given to him by the wise men.  Matt 2:16

Matthew 2:16 (NKJV)
16  Then Herod, when he saw that he was deceived by the wise men, was exceedingly angry; and he sent forth and put to death all the male children who were in Bethlehem and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had determined from the wise men.

Walk With Me Back To Basics

I have been listening to Christian teachers and pastors. I have been listening to those who have many questions about the belief system they grew up with. I have been listening to non-believers and all of this brought me to a realization. We have focused so much on prosperity that we have forgotten some basics. We have confused onlookers because our behavior shows little difference to that of Wall Street financiers or street thugs. It’s about the money or the bling. Before you get it twisted, I believe God wants to bless us financially but my problem is not with the wealth but our attitude and behavior.

I decided to go back to basics. I decided to study the gospel writers, Matthew, Mark and John who walked with Y’shua; who recorded from different perspectives His teachings. I mean who else can give us insight on what He taught better than Himself.

I began with searching for the answer of a few questions I had.

  1. Exactly how did He get the name Jesus? I knew it wasn’t His given name. He was Israeli after all.
  2. Why did Isaiah prophesy that He would be called Immanuel and then was named something else?
  3. What was His authority that I should listen to Him?

Now I know someone is going to be shocked by that last one. I have no doubt that He has authority but I want to reaffirm from the Word the basis for my belief. That is for you real holy people who don’t need to be introspective sometimes. I am not perfect so I have to check myself.

Over the coming months I will share my findings, especially Y’shua’s teachings for that is my true objective for this study. I know there is more than what we limit ourselves to in the knowledge of our God-designed power, authority and behavior. I invite you to

Walk With Me!

Since October

Many of you followed my postings last year regarding our journey through my husband’s life scare. I don’t know if I thanked you, so Thank you for your support. I have learned that 2015 was a horrific year for a great many people. I pray that it was a time of spiritual growth for you as it was for us.

To recap

  1. Massive heart attack on March 27, 2015
  2. Stopped breathing and needed electrical shock 3 times before conversion
  3. Months of hospitalization and rehabilitation care centers followed.

During those rehabilitation stays he struggled to regain the use of his legs. So what has happened since the first rehab stay.

  1. He was taken off Mexilitine.He was given that drug to counteract the worst, Amiodarone. Amiodarone was not his friend. It caused severe blood pressure drops and may have been the cause of some of the tachycardia events, however, I can’t prove it. It took awhile but it was finally replaced with a less toxic drug o September 28.  I had to fight but was successful.
  2. We changed cardiologist and that was a great blessing.
  3. He decided to stop taking Atorvastatin and the Qvar. He decided to control his cholesterol with his diet and he said he could breath fine without that inhaler.
  4. Oh, he lost almost 100 lbs over the 10 month period.

Since October

  1. After his last Ventricular tachycardia episode on September 27, a pacemaker/defibrillator was implanted on October 1.
  2. He came home on October 6th using a wheelchair. He had a few attempts with a walker. He has gone from wheelchair to walker to cane. He still needs the walker for long distances but for someone who was not believed to live and then not ever to walk this is awesome.
  3. His memory is improving but his meds are creating some interference. He is overcoming.
  4. We have learned so much about our power and authority when dealing with the medical community. We are empowered and plan to share that knowledge.
  5. We have learned how to eat even better with targeted focus for health reasons, heart and brain.

God planned and provided the best foods for our health,

the slave master changed our diet to the worst because it wasn’t what we ate n Africa,

and now we choose to continue to eat what sickens and is designed to kill us.

Please let’s help each other leave the plantation.

We can make soul food healthy.

Thank you for praying for us and supporting us. We thank you for your continued prayers and support.

In His Love


Mary, I Didn’t Think

A lot of attention is paid to the Holy family this time of the year, Mary, Joseph and Y’shua. But today my thoughts about Mary were challenged. Dr. Charles Stanley asked his congregation if they had ever thought about what Mary gave up when she yielded to the Holy Spirit? If any of them were like me, they just assumed and took for granted her situation. I mean looking back through our holy, spiritual looking glass, she was highly favored and blessed among women. Right?

Did you ever think about her losing her reputation?

or the disappointed looks from her parents?

Did you consider the threat to her life? Joseph had the right to have her stoned to death for violating their betrothal vows.

Did you consider the gossip in the village; the whispers? She was an unwed mother or she had sex with Joseph before the wedding.

Even though every Hebrew virgin wanted to be chosen to be the mother of the Messiah, when it happened, no one believed her. Sounds like us.

Then I went to church and Pastor Mitchell laid before us the benefits to us of Mary having said, Yes!

We received the opportunity for forgiveness, unconditional love, eternal salvation and the biggy

Salvation from our destructive habits and destructive decisions.

Her saying, Yes, provided Me the opportunity to be saved from Myself.

I don’t believe I should pray to her but I have increased awareness of what she endured.  She is a very good example of extreme submission to God.

Thank you, Mary for your submission, obedience and endurance.



The last 7 months have been a life changing experience. It has not only changed Carl and I, but you. Yes, you. Who are You?   “You” live in three groups.

Group 1

You who

  1.  Walked with us through this fire journey with us.
  2. Believed God in spite of what you saw.

Group 2

You who

  1. Prayed but lacked faith that they would be answered.
  2. Thought I had lost my mind and all sense of reasoning but stood with me anyway.

Group 3

You who

  1. Watched on the sidelines
  2. Thought Group 1 and 2 were crazy but hoped we were right.

How have you changed? I don’t know but you do.

I suspect whatever group you are in, your faith in God has increased.

I suspect you believe the impossible is more possible than you did before.

You are permanently changed!

Five Months Ago Tonight

Five  months ago tonight, March 27, my husband flat-lined.

Five months ago tonight I faced the loss of my best friend and love.

Five months ago tonight I prayed if it is his time take him or heal him. I don’t want him to suffer.

Five months ago tonight I spent the night in emergency.

Five months ago tonight I began a painful, terrifying, horrific, rewarding journey.

Five months ago tonight I began to learn to trust what God said rather than what I saw.

Five months ago tonight I believe God answered my prayer by breathing life into Carl.

The scripture that came to me was Psalm 91 and therein I believed lay my promise.

Psalm 91:14-16 (ESV)
14  “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15  When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.
16  With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Here we are five months later and he is back in the hospital but things are so very different.

God is still fulfilling that promise in very interesting ways.

God is Masterfully orchestrating our lives.


Sometimes you just need to refocus. Being really scared can cause you to do that.

Carl awakened in pain from the neuropathy in his legs. Then I realized he was perspiring like a running water faucet and cold to the touch at the same time. This is usually an indication that his blood pressure has dropped too low. I put pillows under his legs to raise them. He asked for a wet wash cloth to wipe his face and neck. That was good. He was conscious and communicating. He wanted to be on his side, then his stomach and then his back all in a matter of minutes. Then he told me he was dizzy and nauseous and thought he might vomit. I went to get a container for that and he began to dry heave. I was SCARED. I asked him if I should call 911. He said he didn’t know and then I got a feeling that I should wait. I called out to God and reminded Him of the promise he gave me in Psalm 91.  One of which was when I called out that He would answer. Carl began to settle down but still had pains in his leg and nausea. I continued to pray and then I felt God instructing me to read Mark 4. I began to read and wondered why He pointed me to the parable of the sower.  I continued to read. Next came the account of the disciples being afraid that they would drown in the storm. After Jesus calmed the storm He said to them,

Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?

That was it. That is why I had to read Mark 4. Throughout this whole ordeal, our storm, I have been learning to put my trust in what God said and not the circumstances that I see. I guess I got so comfortable in where I was that I didn’t realize I was slipping back into trusting what I saw. So the Father had to SCARE me back to FAITH; Faith in Him and what He said He would do. I have been refocused. Focused on what God promised rather than what I see happening in the healing process.

By the way, there are good things happening. The doctor’s have removed a very toxic drug called Amioderone. The side affects can cause extremely life threatening damage. It is the major contributor to the neuropathy. Since its removal, Carl is getting stronger and is standing with very little assistance. I am optimistic that he may be trying to walk by next week if not sooner. He said he feels like he is coming out of the mental fog. All these positives are the reasons I was so scared this morning.

So I say to you don’t lose focus. Keep your eyes on the promise that God has given you no matter what else may be happening. God’s course correction is not fun. Don’t give Him cause to Scare you back to Faith.