This is my baby daughter. Please read in its entirety, especially if you live in Houston, TX and New York City or you like to travel 🙂
Black Love
Never Ending Love!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY LOVE.
Forty-five years ago on April 14th we vowed to love and cherish each other for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, through good and the bad till death separates us. We kept that vow until April 10th death physically separated us. I will always love you. You are alive in my heart and in my spirit. Not even death can break that bond. Our spirits are forever joined. I celebrate us today. I celebrated with thoughts of you in heaven free of pain and at peace. I celebrate your freedom and continued praising and rejoicing. I’m a little jealous.
For me, this is the beginning of many “first” without you physically by my side. I miss you so much. I miss your smile, your laugh even your difficult days. Yet, I am happy for you.
I am closing this day affirming
You are the best earthly thing that’s ever happened to me. 😍
Good night my Love.
The Base
noun – the lowest part or edge of something, especially the part on which it rests or is supported.”she sat down at the base of a tree”
verb -have as the foundation for (something); use as a point from which (something) can develop.”the film is based on a novel by Pat Conroy”
Whether noun or verb the word base describes something that something else is built on. It always seems to imply a foundation of sorts. If the base is damaged that which is built upon it is unstable. If a work is based on another work which is weak then that which is developed has less of a chance for success or credibilty. It is of great concern and attention that the base in building or developing something is strong and stable. No corners are cut. No second rate materials are used. Just watch advertisements for products. Much attention is given to assuring us that the best materials were used and the quality is unsurpassed.
Now some have said that we are a base people; my people, black people; people of African descent. Does this mean we are the lowest part or edge of something, especially the part on which it rests or is supported. Are other people in this country resting on us? Are we supporting them. Are things being developed with us as the foundation? I can empahtically answer yes. I can with a resounding voice say YES! There are other people groups in this country that were considered a part of this base but have been allowed to advance or build upon themselves to no longer be the base. So I am not ignoring their contributions. I am speaking about my people because they are my people. It is my experience. (Indigenous people may be included with the black experience for the sake of being held to the base. There has been some progress made in my lifetime but this country is digressing. Much of what was fought for in the 50’s and 60’s is being reversed. Attitudes toward us as base are returning to those decades and our fight continues. The difference is as a people we understand our importance. Atttending to the health of the BASE is necessary . If the base is neglected that which is built upon it is unstable. If Black people are in bad, mental and emotional health every institution developed in this country is unstable. The White people who hate us and are trying to subjugate us as they make America great again don’t realize that as they hurt us, they hurt themselves. The attempt to destroy us, they destroy the America that they want to make great.
Now I know someone is saying Black people are not the foundation or base that this country is built upon. It is the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Until the tenets of those documents are applied to the Black community as they are for the white community, the strength of those documents will be weak. Hence, that which is developed upon them, that which they support is unstable. America shore up your base by living up to the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Treat us as what we are..citizens of this country with the same birthright as yours.
And if you call yourself a Chrisitan, read the Book. Read the teachings of Yeshua. Read his geneology and research the ethnicity of each member. You may be quite surprised. At the very least it is clear he was born of a Hebrew woman which rules out a European appearance. He worked as a carpenter with no electrical tools in the heat of Nazareth. He was likely muscular and tan, not frail and fair complexioned. But most important is how he treated people and how he instructed us to treat each other. Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbor as yourself. On these two hang the law and prophets. These two embody all that God has declared and require of His people. So where do you stand? Do you destroy your Black neighbor or do you Love them? Do you help make the Base healthy or do you injure it?
Remember the health and strength of the Base has a direct effect on that which is supported by it or that which is developed on it. The health and the strength of the Base affects you.
Beet, Celery, Carrot Pulp Galore
As you can imagine making fresh vegetable juice everyday yields a lot of pulp. I can’t imagine throwing it away. So what do I do with it all. My first thought was veggie patties. I looked around at different recipes and decided to use a variation of my veggie patty. I put the beet pulp, carrot pulp, celery pulp, shitake/portobello mushrooms in my food processor along with sunflower seeds, onion powder, garlic powder, organic liquid smoke, chilli flakes, flaxseed eggs and salt. I formed this mixture into patties and put them in the dehydrator for 12 hours. The reul
The results are reasonably firm and soft in the center. I need more of a binding agent so I will try chia seed egg or oatmeal the next time. This is my first try. They turned out well. Tasted okay but I need to add more seasonings. When I get the amount figured out I can share a recipe. But for now know I used 2 cups of the beet, carrot, celery pulp combinations and 2 cups of shitake/protabello mushroom blend, 1 1/2 cup of sunflower seeds. The rest was to taste or as they say in my family until it feels right. 🙂
Refined and Polished
Yesterday I celebrated my 70th birthday. Today is the beginning of my 71st year of life. Leading up to this time I had determined that it was time to re-invent myself. I planned to address my insecurities that are responsible for me living an impactless life. My plans have changed some what. Yesterday as part of my birthday celebration my baby daughter orchestrated a video presentation. She invited my family and people she knows have known me for a long time to express how I had impacted their life and to share a memory. I sat there listening to those who shared and thought I didn’t know they felt like that. I was just being me. Some cited incidents that they felt showed my strength. I felt they just seemed to me in trouble and caused people to dislike me. i really thought I was just tolerated because I was attached to Carl. I thought who are they talking about. They believe that I am strong. One even said I was fierce. I had been shot down and stomped on so often that I felt like there really was no reason that I should be using up the space and air others could have benefited from. To some extent this attitude caused me to deny myself of things I wanted or the quality of things I did get.
My friends and family have a different opinion of me. For that I am grateful and thankful. I awoke this morning realizing I like their view, their perspective. I have purposed to see myself through their eyes, I have decided not to re-invent myself. Apparently the core of who they see is who I wanted to be. Therefore I will leave the essence of who I am unchanged. I an asking for Yaweh’s help to refine that which needs refining and polish that which needs to shine brighter.
I am renewing my thinking about myself . I purpose to give myself the same grace and compassion that I give others. I give my best to others and now I purpose to give it to myself. I am moving myself up on my list . Oh, don’t worry. I am not going to become haughty and self-centered. I’m just going to treat myself better. I know this is not going to be something that happens overnite but I am beginning.
This post is my first step. Now you all know and those near and dear will hold me accountable, Second step is to become more consistent with my Bible study. Thirdly, I will wear more of what I like. People have seen glimpses of my style but not on a consistent level or the quality that I really like. I spent the money on my kids and my husband. They were in the public eye more than I. Really, who neede to dress up to clean bathrooms. 😀 The kids are grown and hubby is no longer Pastor Carl and community activist. I am making it my turn now. Not making do any more. I’ve wanted to sew, so sew I will. Before the pandemic I had lost weight and was wearing clothes that I loved. I had replaced the fat clothes. Over this last year of isolation, I have regained the weight. Food was my only physical comfort. I will eliminate the vegan fast food and return to the healthier versions. I will lose the weight again but I will dress the fat body well in the mean time. Not waiting.
Let the refining and polishing begin. 70 is the new 40.
Observe, Ask, Listen!
I am a girl. I am a female. I am 100% woman. Societal stereotypes say there are certain things you are safe buying or doing for me because am a woman. What color is do people buy baby girls? Pink. Why can’t she have blue? What color are clothes bought for little girls? Pink. Why not green? As the little girl grows she may tell you what she likes but if she isn’t asked it will be assumed it’s pink. It doesn’t change much when she grows up. When a man doesn’t know his woman’s favorite color, pink is assumed to be safe. This is simply because she is female. Now layer my ethnic culture on that. Just because I am Black there are certain things that I absolutely prefer according to the stereotypes. Women don’t all like the same thing and no one thing clearly describe us. If that were so, the clothing, jewelry, cosmetic, hair and shoe industries would not exist. Understanding what I am about to say is crucial for some relationships. It is believed women are difficult to understand. We are not. There is a very simple method to understand us. Obseve and Ask.
So to those who have not understood, I will use me as an example. I don’t prefer pink or diamonds. I don’t like pastels. I am a bold color concentrated person. But I don’t prefer the bold winter colors. I prefer the fall colors found in nature. The stereotype would have me in ruffles. You know, frilly, girly stuff. I like clean lines and texture. When I drank liquor, I was a scotch, dry martini person. My sweetest drink was a margarita. My husband knew all these things before we were married. In the course of us developing a friendship he observed, asked and listened. When it became important to know he did. He could even choose clothes and jewelry for me with a high degree of certainty that I would like them.
I guess you’re asking “why is she telling us all this?” For those who didn’t get the memo, we are not all the same. Allow us to be collectively individual. We have individual taste. Yes there may be similarities but we have some differences. Give us room and stop trying to put us in your box. If you’re not sure what your woman likes, ASK! Then listen.There will be fewer misunderstandings. That has worked for my husband for 44 years. Oh and just so you know, if you are in a relationship or trying to develop one, don’t assume this woman likes something just because the last one did. Observe and ASK! Listen! Don’t ask the day before her birthday or your anniversary. Pay attention when your just having conversation and get those questions in there if she’s important to you. She will appreciate your wanting to know.
Remember Observe and Ask. Listen. Don’t Assume.
Intangible Wealth for the New Year
Many are waking up this morning with a deep sigh of relief. We made it to 2021. The hope is high that everything is going to be better than 2020. I have seen memes and cartoons expressing the expectations for 2021. But there was one that really stood out to me. The basic message was we were putting too much pressure on 2021. What magically changes because the calendar flipped a page?
I woke up this morning with this thought. I pray for all of us the intangible wealth that is available to us. I pray that we all are blessed with peace of mind, good health, love, true and honest relationships, a focus on those things that benefit not only ourselves but society at large. When we do this one person at a time within our sphere of influence, 2021 stands a chance at giving us all those things for which we hope. In other words, give to others what you hope to get. Sounds familiar doesn’t it. “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” Love your neighbor. The scripture says as you love yourself but many of us don’t love ourselves. So learn to love yourself but while you are learning, love others.
Eliminate the hate speech. We can disagree and discuss without it. Stop the name calling and labeling. You don’t like the negative adjectives used to describe or label you, so don’t lay on others. “Christians” stop with the self-righteous attitudes and behaviors. We have just as much sin in our lives as those we condemn. Let he who has no sin cast the first stone. He gave His life for those you condemn just as He did you. We were instructed to love not condemn. Condemnation hasn’t worked so let’s try His plan, Love. Loving someone doesn’t mean you necessarily agree with the person but you stand a greater chance of them hearing you when you are kind and nonjudgemental. The more I study Y’shua, the more I realize we have been doing it all wrong, so I proffer a change. If His Spirit really lives in you, allow Him to manifest His fruit in your lives and watch what happens to you and those around you.
So let’s give 2021 a chance and let’s do better. Let’s treat each other well. Let’s enjoy that intangible wealth that awaits us and brings more joy and enjoyment in our lives.
A Quiet Love Celebration
I was reminded today of the depth of love I have for my husband. Sometimes fatigue and a feeling of helplessness makes you impatient. Consistent rest is not something I get often. But this last week has been especially tiring. The last two nights 4 hours combined. But it was Christmas. This morning the emergency room became my Christmas celebration venue. Once I was there I forgot how tired I was. My husband’s care became my focus. Sitting in his emergency room watching him fluctuate between sleep and sharp pain, pierced my heart. Love overwhelmed me. He said this is the best party. You are together.
Love conquers all.
We usually think of wrongdoing but this time it conquered fatigue. I was ready for battle with the medical system which is sometime unreasonable. I was ready but it was not necessary. I guess that was my Christmas present.
Love was present. Love allowed me to be blessed and to be a blessing to some of the staff. Most of all, love sustained me. Love used the arms of my children and church family to hold me.
Now I am resting in love’s arms completely at peace. I miss my husband though not worried.
Thank you love for your birth, your life, your resurrection.
I had a very blessed Christmas Celebration.
Great-grandmother: Strong Woman
I’ve been told that this woman was very mean but it is not something I experienced in my young life. She and my great grandfather lived in what we called the country. When I went to visit them I was in her direct care. With him rules were more likely to be relaxed 😊.
So many memories include her kitchen and her front porch. My great-grandmother was an awesome cook. She raised the chickens and eggs we ate. She churned the butter from a neighbor’s milk. The jams, jellies and vegetables she made and canned in the summer fed us all winter. The fruit and vegetables came from their very large garden. I remember climbing the pear and apple trees to gather the fruit. I was in heaven. The next closest to heaven feelings were her feather mattresses and pillows she made from the chicken feathers. Unfortunately I never desired to learn these skills. I wish I had. She also taught me how to feed the chickens, clean the yard and empty what they called the slop jar. Jobs I hated. It was not pig slop as you might imagine. It was human waste from the night 😖. It was a while before they got indoor plumbing. Going to the outhouse at night was not wise. Visits from snakes and such. Back to the yard. I had to sweep the dirt to clean up chicken poop and to minimize the dust blown into the house. Can you get ready for that?😀. She was an immaculate homemaker and that included the yard.
The women on the hill were early risers so after lunch the porch sitting began. The women nearest my great-grandmother’s house gathered on her porch. It was large and you could see almost every other home from her vantage point. All the latest news and gossip was shared until it was time to prepare dinner.
This woman was strong. I didn’t realize how strong. When she died I discovered she was born just as slavery ended. I can’t remember if she was the last baby born under slavery or the first born after it ended. Nevertheless, she grew up under Jim Crow laws. She never got to vote. She had to play the role of societal submissive for survival sake. This strong woman was humiliated so her family could live. She never talked about her childhood or even my grandmother’s. I guess that was just how they were. To move forward they let go the pain of the past and dealt with the conditions or realities of the present.
I miss the innocence that I was allowed to experience during visits to a rural place during unsafe times because of her.
Thank you to her and others like her.
A Deeper Level
All year God has been teaching me the depth of His love and what He requires of me to give that kind of love to others. In April I submitted a post entitled #Love?. The content was about God’s definition of love. Since then I have been focused on how Pat would apply this level of understanding. Don’t get me wrong, these precepts I have known and taught for years. What has changed is my depth of understanding deep down in my spirit.
Tonight I listened to a spiritual son and daughter share a portion of their journey in learning what love really is. My son shared something he had learned in his journey that hit home to me. He said, “You cannot love someone unconditionally unless you know what their condition is.”
I am going to leave that right there and let you ruminate along with me.
"Black Soil" Living 