I Surrender – For NOW

Those who have followed me and know me know that I am resistant to pharmaceuticals. It is my very last resort. The health issue that I have is the source of any other potential issues: high blood pressure. I didn’t know I had the condition until a blood vessel burst in my eye. I had to have surgery on my eye. The day of the surgery, my BP was so high that they rescheduled. That was the day this battle began.

Since then I have been regulating my BP with vegetables, specifically beets. It was going well, but I did get periodic spikes. The spikes in BP measurements are my Dr’s concern. She said they were just as damaging to my blood vessels. So for now I will take a very low dose of lisinipril. One of the side affects is allowing a build-up in potassium that damages your kidneys. To me that is trading one problem for another. My goal is to eventually get off this medication. In the meantime, I will eat clean and exercise and take this poison. Those who pray to the Heavenly Father, please pray for me.

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Just for Me

This last week I have begun preparations for my church family’s annual Daniel Fast. I already lead a plant-based dietary lifestyle. So, what to do? I decided to go back to raw vegan meals, especially a week of smoothies.

Along with thoughts about food, I looked at my life this year. What would I change? What would I add? My assessment continually asked “But what have you done just for you?” I heard all my children’s voices asking, Mom what did you do for you?

I realize I have a difficult time to do for me. So I’ve decided to do more just for me in 2020. I now have to figure out what that looks like.

Any thoughts?

I AM Successful!

It has been good to reconnect with many of my high school classmates. One of the alums began a page called Dragons Forever and I have enjoyed reading about their lives. It brought back some good memories and some not so good.  I have been thinking about the declaration made by my high school classmates made about me.  You know how the class votes for the Most Talented, the Most Popular, etc. I was voted the Most Likely to Succeed.  I was never sure if they really thought that of me or there was nothing else. Nevertheless, it haunted me for the last 30 years. I don’t possess fame or wealth that you would expect from someone successful. I began a career but after my son’t birth I became a homemaker.I never thought that would be me. I planned a career life, with a family. I didn’t plan for my family to be my career. I devoted my time to homeschooling my kids, taking care of my husband and my home. I was also active in my church and community. I was concerned about black kids, the boys especially in the public school system.  (That is another blog post.)  As my kids needed me less the thoughts of “The Most Likely to Succeed” periodically popped up and in those moments I felt like a failure. I had not succeeded. I am not famous and I am not wealthy, not even well to do. We are living a servant’s life. It has been a very blessed choice but no fame or fortune.

Many of you know this has been a very trying year. I have faced death several times through my husband. I have had hours in the hospital and rehab rooms to reflect on my life. I discovered that I was very wealthy. I had sisters, birth and spiritual that supported me; that loved me.  I discovered friends that I didn’t know I had. Our spiritual children stepped up in ways unexpected. Their actions expressed real love for us. Most of all, those children I gave birth to and those I chose to mother, love me and sometimes they even like me.  My children are pursuing their dreams and taking care o their families. They love learning. They love helping the underdog. They love giving of themselves.  I believe my husband and I had a little to do with those attitudes. Finally, I have a husband who truly loves me as I am. So while I am not the success we dreamed of those years so long ago, I can say I am wealthy beyond measure.

I am successful.